Finding a sense of belonging when relocating for work

While living in another country can be exciting and enriching, it can also be a daunting experience and many people struggle to create a sense of belonging in new surroundings, said Geoffrey Cohen, Stanford Professor, and author of the book Belonging – The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides.

He added, “A sense of belonging is vital for our wellbeing, health, productivity, and to thrive in general. Yet, for anyone transitioning to a new environment abroad, achieving it can be fraught with ups and downs.”

To help individuals find a sense of belonging if they are making an international relocation, Cohen offers some 10 tips:

1.    Politeness goes a long way: Learn as much as you can of the local customs – from the local social etiquette, how to say “hello”, “please”, and “thank you”, to the cultural nuances and local traditions.

2.    Start practical planning early – just one small step every day: Start the set-up process early – from bank accounts to selecting a school for your children. There are many resources to help you in the process, such as online groups, your employer, and financial services provider.

3.    Talk to people who have been there: When entering a new culture, talk to people who have gone through the process already, ideally in the same location where you plan to go. You will invariably learn a lot from listening to their stories.

4.    Discover the power of local community. Finding people who love what you love can bring a sense of belonging. United by common interests and shared bonds, the local community can offer a foothold in an unfamiliar country. Ask neighbours, browse local papers and public notice boards, as well as online forums and digital apps, such as Meetup.

5.    Understand that ‘belonging’ takes time. No matter where you go, you’re likely to feel uprooted. Remember, this is normal. Give yourself time.

6.    Be brave and get out there! To feel part of a place, get involved in social and cultural activities, or sports and business events. Fleeting moments of connection – striking up a conversation with your neighbour or a stranger when asking for directions or with a barista in a coffee shop – benefit our wellbeing and belonging.

7.    Cultivate a dual social support network. Aim to build new connections (colleagues at work, neighbours, and local community groups), whilst maintaining connections with friends and family back home, even if it is just a quick phone call or email check-in for a chit-chat.

8.    Talk to someone. Being abroad can feel isolating and challenging. If you are struggling – and cannot easily reach your family or friends at home, perhaps due to time zone differences – do not hesitate to reach out to a colleague, community group or professional service. Chatting it through sooner rather than later can prevent worries from escalating.

9.    Tend to your unique situation. Everyone has a unique situation, with a distinct mix of opportunities. Cultivate your support network with regular check-ins with someone you trust. Be aware that others’ well-being and sense of belonging will affect yours, and yours will affect theirs. 

10.    Keep a journal. Jotting down your thoughts and feelings about your days is a great strategy to help you cope with stress or anxiety, and to gain control of your emotions. Consciously reminding yourself of your core values and giving thanks for good things in your life can improve wellbeing. A journal can be helpful – at the end of each day, try writing down at least one thing that you are grateful for and why, or one way in which you lived out your values.

Geoffrey Cohen is a Stanford Professor, and author of the book Belonging – The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides. He is currently working with HSBC to provide expert tips on how to find a sense of belonging when moving abroad.